I went out this morning to take my dog for a walk. The poor girl hasn’t been on a decent walk in months. Not that I gave her a decent one today, but at least we walked around our apartment complex so she could smell the urine of other dogs. I know it makes her happy. It’s the little things, you know?!
While we were walking, I began to think about men. They’re my favorite thought. The question I had was what do I want from a man and what can he can offer me that I can’t offer myself? To be clear, I am not a feminist. I don’t want to buy myself flowers, hold my own hand or take myself dancing. That sounds fucken stupid.
As much as I wish I was a soft, needy domestic woman, I’m not. I’m fiercely independent, smart, ambitious, deep thinker who craves constant inner and personal development. I like to grow and learn and mature, but by no means do I believe I don't need a man.
I have a side of me that gets turned on by a man who caters to me. Take out my trash, rub my feet, shower me with compliments, fix my broken toilet, put air in my tire, use hammers and drills. Those are a few things a man can do for me, but I require so much more.
Give me your protection.
Make me feel safe in your arms and in your loyalty. I need to know that you would fight a giant for me and turn down a Jezebel at any given moment.
Give me your life.
I need to feel secure that you would give up your life for me. Not in the death kind of way, but in the sacrifice kind of way. If I asked you to stop doing something you loved, would you do it for me? Would you give it up for me because I was worth it?
Give me your body
I want to see you sweat for me. I want to see you exercise, eat healthy and take care of yourself, so you look good for me. Lift heavy things, so I don't have to. Have a sex drive higher than mine, so I will never feel rejected. Get your hands dirty around the house and inside of me. Let me hold you, caress you and care for your body too.
Give me your mind
For God sake, be smart! Read books or at least listen to them. Be a man who feeds his mind. Know something I don’t and then teach it to me. Be open to respectfully communicating with me. Share your emotions, your hurts and happies.
Give me your presence
I don’t need constant conversation, but I need your presence. Spend time with me without saying a word. While you’re outside working on whatever it is you work on, let me be there. Sitting in your presence. Sharing the same space.
Give me your gentleness
Treat me softy, kindly and gently. Respect the fact that I’m sensitive and tears are a form of expression for me. Be calm, be confident and when you're upset, don’t callously scold me like you would another man. I’m not a man and you will cut me. Be gentle with me. Keep your strength under control.
Give me your Partnership
Actively participate in life with me. Don’t pile all the duties of life onto my shoulders. If you notice I’m struggling, offer your strength to help me. Don’t let me run errands alone. Don’t let me make all the decisions and all the plans. Don’t leave me alone to handle life. I can’t take on your burdens and my own. Share the weight of this world with me.
I guess the answer to my question of what a man can offer me is not some littles girls dream of superficial gifts and gestures. I want a man’s whole self. Nothing less will do.
- Alice B.
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